I've been browsing the internet today and have found several childless bloggers and feel like I have found a new set of friends. I have felt so alone lately. My heart and soul cry to find others who are childless like me.
Reading all of their different experiences has brought tears to my eyes. Tears for their sorrows, but also, tears to know I'm not alone.
So I am going to try to make this blog a more active blog again. So others out there can know they aren't alone.
I thought once we felt good about closing our adoption profile, the ache would go away. It did fade to the back ground, but it is still there. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one like that! I find myself constantly yelling at my internal clock to shut up. We are done, it shouldn't hurt. But sometimes, it still does.
I've been afraid to blog here because I don't want to hurt feelings. But I'm slowing learning that I need to stand up for myself. I'm human, just like every one else. I shouldn't have to brush my feelings and emotions under the rug to spare a few hurt feelings. This is MY blog. You are welcome to read it or you can leave.
I just need a safe place to express my feelings and I am going to make that place here.
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It comes and goes...some days are good, some are bad. But, in the end, I feel it was God's plan that we didn't have children.
ReplyDeleteAccepting this life, we have been able to chance our lifestyle a bit in recent years. Make different financial decisions such as more charitable donations...helping our god children with college...just enjoying every minute of what we have.
Sometimes I wonder if God put us down this road because something else is going to happen. Maybe my skin cancer will reappear...maybe something else. But whatever, we just have learned to enjoy what we do have.
Write what you need to Savannah! I feel the same way about meeting other people who are in the same situation. Blogs can be so therapeutic. You have my support!
ReplyDeletexxx