Tuesday, November 15, 2011


I think I'm bad luck in the adoption world. I refer situations to friends, only to have them not turn out. Its so frustrating. I've dealt with it for me personally. God isn't going to give me kids. I'm ok with that. But it upsets me that other people can't have kids. I feel like every other month I refer a situation to a friend and each time it doesn't end happily. I just want to give up. I feel like I just am setting them up for more heartbreak each time. Its like the feeling that everything you touch breaks. For me, its everything I try to do in the adoption world doesn't work out. And I'm sick of it.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Prayers for H

I've kind of developed a quite relationship with God. I know He's there (for the most part), but really, all I do is quick, quite prayers in my heart when I feel the need. But last night I poured my heart out to Him.

"Dear God, I know we don't talk often, but this is really important. I had a lady contact me about a possible adoption situation. Although, I did note the coincidence that the baby is due right around 2 years after we were unchosen, we are not pursuing adoption. So I told her we weren't interested.

But then I told her about H. Dear God, I love H so much and I want her to become a mom so badly. She would be an incredible mom. Right now all she gets to do is play mommy part time, but I want her to be a permanent mom. I want a child to come into her house and stay forever. So I gave this person that contacted me H's name.

Now they get to meet and see if there is a connection. Father, please let there be a connection! Please let them meet and instantly fall in love with each other. Please let this family choose H and then please let everything go smoothly. Please let H get to spend the next few moms as an expectant mom. That was such an amazing feeling for us and I want her to have that feeling too. And please, don't let it end like ours.

Please let things go well at the meeting. Please let the family choose her and her husband. Please don't let it end like ours did. Please let this be their baby they have longed for so much.

I haven't asked for much lately, but this would me the world to me. And to H. Please."

My friend H is meeting with the expectant mom and grandma today. Please send a prayer that it will work for them. I haven't needed God to answer a prayer like this in a long time, but I need him to answer this one. Please join me in praying that it will work out for H. God will know who you are talking about.