Okay, since I just ranted so much I thought I better try to smooth things over. People seem to misunderstand me when I have a hard time. Here is a list that I find to be funny, but also true. I have added my own comments to the end of each one. I was going to add some of my own, but I was afraid I would get negative again.
* Buying and reading books on baby care, and hiding them when company comes. - I haven't done that one.
* Wanting like crazy to “just look” in the baby section of the department store, but feeling so out of place–“Infertile” is not really stamped on my forehead. - That is sooo me! I just want to look and pretend, but what the point!
* Wanting to look at my children someday, and see their father (my husband) in them. - Actually, that doesn't bother me. I don't think that is important and if people do, shame on them!
* Snapping at friends who ask innocent questions, and not meaning to. I wish I could explain, but... - Once again, that is sooo me! Sorry to all of you I have snapped at before.
* Making love and suddenly realizing that the two of you will never make a baby this way and crying. -Actually that was never a problem. I like that part of being married.
* Seeing the cutest maternity top in the store window, but having no reason to buy it. - That is a tought one, I love to buy clothes!
* Trying to rejoice with your friend on her second (or third) pregnancy. - Actually I haven't had to deal with a 2nd pregnancy yet. I hope I can handle it better than I have 1st pregnancies.
* Being enemies with your own body. - What is wrong with me!
* Doctors, hating them, worshiping them. - I hated my doctor!!!! I felt like he really didn't care about me. And when people see you in there they tell everyone you are expecting. I had that happen 3 times!
* Wondering if you will ever receive a Mother’s Day card. - I hate Mother's Day. I love you mom!
* Picking a name for your baby, only to grow tired of it. - Jordan, Caitlyn, Brittney, Jesse....
* Always going to other people’s houses for dinner because they would have to get a babysitter, and it is so much more convenient this way... - No comment, friends with children seem to ignore us.
* Falling apart. Getting hysterical. Am I losing my sanity? - Did you see the previous post?
* Knowing (better than most) how conception happens, yet having to put up with stupid advice, crude jokes. (Forgive them, Father, they know not what they do!) - I actually had one guy tell me to buy a swing...
* Gladly saying, “Yes!” to a Huhner’s test because that one doesn’t hurt. - My doctor never did any test except a simple thyroid test. Duh, if it looks okay, maybe look for something else!
* Redefining “Woman” (Yes, I am still one)!!!!!!!!
* Feeling empty and sad almost all the time. - Or at least until you find new hope. Like I said earlier, I usually do very well.
* Sharing experiences with other infertile couples and finding comfort in that. Laughing together, crying together. -LDSFS is the best thing that ever happend to us. We aren't going through this alone!
* Wondering where God is. - I did it right. I waited until I was married. Where is my reward?
* Having an extra bedroom for guests, and wishing it were a nursery. - We finally started putting a nursery together in hopes to babysit other kids of people we know who have been blessed with children. HINT HINT!
* Being afraid to take aspirin or do sit-ups. - I don't get this one. Must be because of my stupid doctor.
* Needing to grieve, but not really knowing how. - See previous post.
* And then finally...Coming to terms with your own infertility. Acceptance. Peace. - Ah, sweet peace. Why did you hide from me? I love the peace I now feel.
* Feeling like a whole person again. - I'll still be mom; I just have to wait longer than 9 months.
* Not thinking about your infertility first thing in the morning. - No more negative pregnancy tests!
* Actually finding joy mixed in with the pain of Christmas...What a miracle. - I still struggle with that one. We really didn't celebrate Christmas last year. We only got a tree because our homestudy was in December.
* Discovering life can be happy, and satisfying without children - I love the time I have with Josh. We do lots of things we couldn't do if we had children.
* (or) Discovering that adoption is a positive way of enlarging your “family.” - I know we are supposed to adopt; see previous post.
* I find that I am actually thankful for my own infertility. It has been a hard experience, but as I have struggled, I have grown. I have learned more about my Heavenly Father, and about being His child than I could have otherwise. - He really does love me!
Anonymous, Sierra Vista, AZ