Today's Finding Faith Friday article has really helped me. Lately I have really struggled with the idea of birth grandparents. Not that I don't want them in our lives, I do. What is bothering me, is the thought of them talking their daughter out of adoption.

I know I can't truly understand how tough it must be for them. It must be hard when their child announces they are expecting. But I'm sure with the pain of "What if" and "Why now, like this" there is also the excitement. What parent doesn't get excited after hearing they are going to be a grandparent?

What kind of heartache do they face when their child announces they want to place their child for adoption? I'm sure most parents spend years dreaming about their someday grandchildren and to learn that their grandchild will be placed with another family must be hard.

Today there seems to be so many single mothers raising children and grandparents raising grandchildren. I have a hard time with that. Josh and I believe so strongly in forever families and the importance of a child having a mother and father in their lives. A child raised in a single parent home won't get those eternal blessings that we are striving so hard to provide. Grandparents shouldn't have to raise their grandchildren. They did that once, now their reward should be getting to spoil the grandchildren and then send them home for their parents to raise and discipline.

I should correct myself. I do see a difference between single mothers who conceive out of wedlock and single mothers forced into single motherhood by divorce or death. To me a single mother that chooses to raise her child by herself, loves herself more than her child. I do not feel the same about a single mother through divorce or death. They didn't choose those circumstances. Even in a divorce, I'm sure they didn't marry thinking one day they might have to do it alone. I admire those mother. They didn't choose to be single parents, but now that they are, they do their very best for their children. I know several single mothers (mostly through divorce) and I love and admire them.

I seem to have gotten off track. Right now I am not in an emotionally stable frame of mind when it comes to the birth grandparents. My deepest fear is that when we are chosen she will later change her mind because her parents talk her out of it. It happens all the time. I'm sure this is because they fear losing their grandchild. I understand that.

But I wish I could help them see the beauty of open adoption. They aren't losing a grandchild. They are gaining more family members that will do the very best for that child. They are gaining a loving, stable, environment for their grandchild to grow up in and a forever family in the eternities. There is nothing wrong with having more people love this child.

We are so excited about open adoption and we hope that both birth parents and their parents can be involved in our child's life. I look forward to inviting them to big events like birthday's and baptisms. But right now I am just terrified of them ruining our chances of having a family.

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Maybe I shouldn't even post this, because now I am scared of the backlash. Sometimes I have a hard time expressing myself.

One Lovely Blog

When I first started this blog, it was private. It was my place to go vent when I felt like the world was unfair because I was infertile. Slowly I started to invite a few people to view it; my only requirement? They were infertile like me. But then I decided that I didn't need to hide my feelings about infertility so I opened this blog up. The results?

I won an award!! Thank you Brenda for this award. I am honored (and surprised, but still mostly honored). Brenda runs a couple blogs that are awesome. She talks openly about infertility on I AM where she wrote an awesome letter to fertile woman. She also has a family blog and my favorite part is Matching Monday. It is the first place I go every Monday morning. Thank you Brenda for your work in helping these children find homes. Thanks to you I have taken a step off the cliff and inquired about a waiting sibling group. (Which we were told to wait until the END of July for a response!)

Getting back to the award...

Here are the rules:

1. Put the award on your blog.

2. Include a link to the person who gave you the award.

3. Nominate 6 or more blogs

4. Leave a message on their blog letting them know they have an award on your blog.

1. My very favorite infertility blog is In Pursuit of Parenthood. She writes everything I wish I could say in such a beautiful, thought provoking way. I would highlight just one post of hers, but I love all of them.

2. When I need a good laugh, I always go to 3 Cute Kids. Here kids crack me up! My favorite post is You can choose. This has become a running joke at our house! We are always using it against each other telling them to choose something.

3. I have always dreamed of having twins and looking at all the pictures of these two little girls at Trent & Carlie and Co. I want a set of twins of my own. Even if you don't have twins, be sure to check out her Twin Tips because they could apply to anyone with a baby.

4. Sometimes I actually feel blessed about our infertility (got to love that male infertility can be a final answer to your medical woes), especially when I watch friends take on the evil pill known as Clomid. I am so glad I never had to try that. What a wrecky hormone pill! But my friend, Ashley, at Feigning Fertility is trying to conceive with that pill.

5. When we decided to adopt, I was delighted to learn that I had a cousin who was adopting too. I love talking with her about our struggles and I secretly hope that heaven smiles down on us and we adopt at the same time so our children can be friends. I also wish I could decorate as beautifully as she does.

6. Failed adoptions are heartbreaking. In just one week I knew of three different couples who had one happen to them. An Eternal Family in Progress was one of them. They are currently holding a contest that will help them spread the word that they are trying to adopt.

7. The star of Kiara's Corner is of course Kiara. What a doll! She is cute and funny. Check out some of her silliness at Kiara-isms.

8. When we first decided to adopt, open adoption terrified us. But then we started to meet people and learn what a wonderful thing it really is. Dustin, Andrea & Avery have a great open adoption with their birth mom Andee. I can only hope and pray that someday we can have that kind of relationship too.

9. I follow several crafty blogs, but one of my favorites is Inky Smiles. She is amazing at scrap booking. Someday I will get brave enough to actually try some of the things she does like Quilling & Butterflies.

10. I can't forget my other favorite blog. (Her kids have me rolling on the floor in laughter!) Mommy Musings: Notes from the Trenches, may look like she has her hands full, but with kids like hers there is never a dull moment. One of my personal favorites, the gum letter.

Increasing my odds!

One of my favorite infertility blogs is having a onsies giveaway that I really want to win. I already posted about it on my main blog, but I thought I would post it here to and try to increase my chances of winning. I've also posted her button in my side bar. Check the contest out HERE.