Monday, February 16, 2015


Social media. Its like a blessing and a curse, all at the same time. I love how easy it is to keep up with people on Facebook. I've reconnected with old friends and made new friends.

But then, there is the other side of the coin.

Sometimes the pictures haunt those who suffer from infertility. A friend posts the CUTEST pregnancy announcement, and all you think is "Really? Why can't it be me?" It can hurt to see those kind of things.

That is why I get so mad on April Fool's Day when people posts that kind of a thing as a joke. They may find it funny, but to someone fighting infertility, it can be depressing. I know people who avoid Facebook on that day just for that reason.

Then, there are the people who share the bazillion baby pictures on Facebook. I realize, they are just on cloud nine over their little baby and they feel like every little thing they do is the cutest thing ever.

But as an infertile person, all you see is what you may never have.  When your news feed explodes with pregnancy and baby stuff, it can feel like the end of the world.

Here is where I probably differ from a lot of infertile people. It doesn't really bother me. I figure a person should be free to put whatever they want on their Facebook page. If I'm not in the right frame of mind, no one is stopping me from scrolling right past the stuff I don't want to see. If I see something that interest me, I will stop and look. If not, I scroll on by without a second thought.

A few months ago, I decided if people can post so many pictures about their kids, then I can do the same with my pets. They can look at it, or they can scroll right past it. I don't care. I put stuff on there because its important to me.

But despite my mostly positive attitude towards Facebook, I must admit there is one thing I despise.

I hate learning about things on there that I feel could have been told to me personally, either through a visit or a phone call. Or even a text. Because if I see it on Facebook first, it hurts my feelings. At least when it involves family or the closest of friends.

When one of my nephews was born, I learned about it on Facebook. Granted, I knew she was in labor. But it was on Facebook where I first learned he was here. It was almost an hour later before anyone called to tell me. I was crushed. I couldn't figure out why I was so unimportant I couldn't even get a phone call before the news was posted to the rest of the world.

I also had to learn that one of my nephews was a boy over Facebook. That one hurt also. The spiteful person inside of me wanted to bring pink stuff to the baby shower to try and prove a point. I didn't, but I was tempted.

I'm not saying I expect everyone who is pregnant to call me first. My point is, when its family (or a close friend), I think it could be handled a little better.

Pregnant family/friends, I can see how it can be scary. You're afraid to hurt their feelings because you are posting about something that they may never experience. But trust me, the knife cuts much deeper when we learn about it on Facebook, instead of in person. Even a text will do if you are too scared to tell them in person.

Remember, we want to be happy for you. We just have to mourn for a minute. But it hurts even more if you can't tell us personally.