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Wow, maybe it isn't a fluke. I've been able to hold on to this happy mood for almost a week now. Without the mood booster pills I had been taking. I started taking 5htp a few months ago to help stabilize my mood. It actually helped, quite a bit, in several areas of my life and different forms of stress. But I forgot to take it with me when we went on our anniversary trip a few weeks ago. When we got home, I decided to stay off of it for a little while and see how I do.

Than a week later, I had that news that thrilled me.

Now 2 weeks later, I still haven't taken any 5htp.

I wish I could find more inspiration for this blog. But I only seem to need it when I am feeling blue and depressed. Which bothers me, because I don't want this blog to be a negative type of blog. I want it to show that there is strength and healing after dealing with the darkness of infertility. I want it to show that life does go on.

Last week, I got to hold a new born. It was heaven. And the best part was, it didn't hurt. It used to hurt to hold a baby. So much so, that I would just pass on holding a baby at all. But holding that little angel was pure sweetness. Than this week, I got to hold an older baby for a few minutes. Again, heaven.

I look back and I have come so far. I still slip back into darkness and depression from time to time. But its not as deep and doesn't seem to last as long. I just have to deal with it and then move on.

I still see a roller coaster looming ahead of me, but right now it is smooth. I hope I can keep it that way.