Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tell it how it is

In all my years of infertility, I have become a master of only telling it half way. Its hard to tell people how it is, because they immediately question you or just don't get it, and therefore offer their (useless) advise.

Maybe its because I'm still in a bad mood from last night, but today I told it how it was. And I'm quite proud of myself. I still can't decide what set me off last night. I think it was just a mixture of emotions that hit me all at once. That's how it usually works with infertility.

Right now, my sister is in the hospital giving birth to her second son. I'm excited to have another nephew at any moment. Blankets are ready that I loving made and I found some matching shirts for both her boys. One says "Older Brothers Rule" and the other one says "Young Brothers Rock". I've had these shirts for months now, but decided to keep them until baby #2 made his debut.

Just a bit ago I had the following conversation with someone.

Her: "So, is it your sister your mom is at the hospital with?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Oh, is she having her baby?"

Me: "Looks like it."

Her: "Well, hopefully it will be you someday."

Me: "No it won't."

Her: "You never know, it might me."

Me: "Nope, I know that is impossible."

Her: "Well, then you could just adopt."

My thought I didn't speak aloud, "Yes, its the simple to JUST adopt. Why didn't I think of that?"

Me: "Nope, that's not going to happen either."

Her: "It might."

Me: "No it won't."

Her: "Well, I guess sometimes you just get to that point where you know."

Finally a break through! Until then, I was feeling repetitive and like they just weren't getting it. Oh, I won't kid myself, she probably drove off while saying a little prayer that our family would be added to someday, but I was just so relieved for someone to finally understand what I was saying. Our family is done growing. It is staying the size it is. (Unless I cave and take in the kitten my brother is trying to give me.)

In conversations similar to this, I usually get tired of arguing with the person and say something like "I guess we'll see." That is not me agreeing that they are right in assuming we'll have kids someday. That is my way of ending the conversation so I don't get mad and try to tell them they have no business telling me how my family should be.

I like the way I did it today. It felt short and right to the point and hopefully at least that person got it.


  1. Even if it was to be true that your family will be added to, people need to just honestly shut up and be supportive of where you are right now. If you're learning to embrace and love where your path has led you then people need to be supportive.

    Your fur babies are precious, by the way. I'm not a cat person, but I think for yours I'll make an exception. They're so cute!!!

  2. ..Was reading your blog,I feel exactly the same way as you Savannah.Glad I found you.Warm Hug,