Yesterday I sold my baby items (pack n play, high chair, bouncy chair and swing). I thought it would hurt. I thought it would make me cry. But instead it was such a freeing experience. We bought those items several years ago with such big hopes and dreams. But actually having those items didn't make our dreams come true. It was just stuff. Stuff that sat around getting dusty and not getting used. Stuff that because it was in a certain room, made me so I couldn't go into said room because I knew I would see it and I would cry. This stuff was holding me back. First it held me back from living my life. Then it held me back from finding myself. Now I feel like its holding me back from healing and peace. Sometimes its just time to let go.
I would have loved to have used it. But when I gave it to the newly expectant mom yesterday, she was so excited. I'm glad someone else gets to be excited about the stuff. Yesterday morning when I packed it in the car, I was mad that it sat there so long. Why didn't I do this sooner?
What if we become parents down the road? Well, its just stuff. Stuff that can be easily bought and replaced. But I'm not worried about that. Now I have a craft room and that makes me happy.
I am so proud of you! That has to be the hardest thing. I as well, have gotten rid of many items every now and then over the last 2 years. Luckily, I did not have the big items to begin with. I am however, getting rid of a rocker/glider that I refinished...in hopes to use it for baby...but I am giving it away to my sister in law. I just can't have it around anymore.
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome, Savannah! Way to take charge of your life :o)
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog, and have spent a lot of time reading your inspiring words. I am touched by your example and grateful that you have had the courage to share your experiences. It makes the road of infertility a little less lonely. Though it doesn't help as much as I wish it could, I send my well-wishes from afar and will keep your little family in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeletehow is your craft room doing? are you just loving it? I love mine and I have decorated it to totally fit my tastes and what makes me happy, yes there is a poster of Iron Man...haha! Anyways....I am happy for you it is a big step but it will help in a small way with the pain. One small step leads to many large leaps! What colour did you paint or have you painted it yet?
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to paint in there for now. The walls are a light pink. It was the best looking room in our house, until we painted our bedroom, so if I ever get insane enough to paint again, I'll probably put my efforts elsewhere. But I just love having my own room!
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