"Well, hello world, how you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I'm never going to heal
I see a light, a little grace, a little faith unfurl
Well, hello world"
One of my New Years Resolutions is to try to find more joy in everyday life. Infertility has held me prisoner for too long. I became so caught up in my infertility that I lost everything else about me. Now I slowly feel like I am rediscovering myself. I can't be a mom, but I can still be other things.
I am a wife.
I am an aunt.
I am a mom to too many cats.
I am a friend.
I am a crafter.
I am a somewhat good cook.
I am a wanna be amateur photographer.
I am a over zealous blogger.
I am someone who enjoys good company.
I am someone who enjoys reading.
I am someone who enjoys girls nights.
I am someone who loves learning new things.
I am a child of God.
I think I still have a ways to go before I feel complete and content with the life I have, but I'm enjoying my journey as I look for other ways to enjoy life.
Traffic crawls, cell phone calls
Top video screams at me through my tinted windows I see
A little girl, rust red minivan
She's got chocolate on her face, got little hands
And she waves at me, yeah, she smiles at me
Well, hello world, how you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
Broken like I'm never going to heal
I see a light, a little hole, and a little girl
Well hello world
Every day I drive by a little white church
Its got these little white crosses like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop in and say a prayer
Maybe talk to God like he is there
Oh, I know He's there, yeah, I know He's there
Well, hello world, how you been?
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I'm never going to heal
I see a light, a little grace, a little faith unfurl
Well, hello world
Sometimes I forget what livings for and I hear my life
through my front door
And I'll be there, oh, I'm home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world, hello world
All the empty disappears, I remember why I'm here
Just surrender and believe, I fall down on my knees
Oh, hello world, hello world
Hello world
(Lady Antebellum "Hello world" lyrics found on http://www.songlyrics.com/)
I agree Savannah, infertility makes you forget who you are. Sometimes I tell my husband that I don't feel like I'm a woman if I can't carry children. I know that is strange, but it is how I feel. I have to tell myself that I am still a woman because I have the tender heart of a woman, I am a woman of God, a daughter of God, and he expects great things from me that have nothing to do with my ability to carry a child. I think this is something that will always hurt, but I agree that it is so good to look at ourselves as more than just our inability to get pregnant. You are an amazing woman that I look up to.
ReplyDeleteI look up to you too! I love reading your blog and admire the optimism and faith with which you address life. I can't be a mom right now, but there is more to me than motherhood. I needed that reminder. I need to focus on all the roles I CAN fill and all the things I CAN be. Thank you for being my example!
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