Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Mother's Day

This year, for Mother's/Savannah's Day, I decided I wanted a weekend away with the hubs. His work has had him crazy busy and we literally haven't seen each other for two weeks. I did some looking online and decided it would be fun to go to a play and then spend the night in a bed & breakfast and come home the next morning.

My only worry was the "breakfast" part of the bed & breakfast. What if they were busy and all the conversation focused around Mother's Day?

The thing is, Mother's Day doesn't really bother me anymore. I'm sure that has come with the peace I have found since we decided to move on with our lives and enjoy living as a family of two.

A few weeks ago, my aunt gave me an invite to her daughter's baby shower. I could tell she was super excited to be getting her first grandchild and my situation was an after thought. As she handed me the invite she said "well, I know you don't want this, but here you go." I had to laugh because it didn't bother me in the least. I'd maybe even go to it, if it wasn't on a work night 3 hours away from home.

Back to Mother's Day. We were the only couple that stayed there this weekend, so it never even came up. The lady that runs the place was super sweet and we made sure to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.

We had to run into Home Depot for a few things. They had a give away table for mom's. They asked if I was a mother. I said no, and it didn't even sting just a bit to have to admit that.

I spent all morning thinking how freeing it feels to not feel guilty and sad on Mother's Day. Not once was a sad.

We also realized that we have managed to be out of town for the last 3 Mother's Day. Maybe that is part of the trick. In 2012, Mother's Day is the day we traveled home from our cruise. Last year, we were traveling home from Idaho on Mother's Day.

I think my mom is pretty understanding when we don't show up for Mother's Day. I still get her a gift and call her. It helps me to acknowledge my love for her as my Mother, but it doesn't put me on the spot in a crowd and a non-mom. I'm not sure my mother in-law sees it the same way, but I always make sure Josh's calls her that day and we get her a present a few days earlier or later.

As we drove home Sunday, we stopped for lunch. While standing at the salad bar, Josh's aunt walked up to us. (Its a small world!) She was meeting her parents there. So of course, when they arrived, they had to come say hello too. Her mom wished me a Happy Mother's Day and I said thanks. It was an automatic thing for her to say and it was just as automatic for me to answer thanks. No hard feelings at all.

But she must have worried about it, because she came over a few minutes later to apologize. I did my best to reassure her it really didn't affect me, because it didn't!

I guess my point is, I'm so grateful for the peace I have found over the last few years. Years ago, I would have locked myself in my room with a box of chocolate and a bottle of wine and cried my eyes out.

I don't need people walking on eggshells around me. But then I remember, there are some people who do need that in their lives. So I'm glad to see that some people are learning to be more sensitive to infertile couples. Its really just a learning process for all involved. I had to find my peace. Those around me had to learn that infertility is hard. Its a nasty road to travel, but I'm glad mine has leveled out. 


  1. Hmmm...maybe that is the trick for next year...head out. I still had a lot of trouble this year. :(

  2. I think we might try that next year, I hate the effect that day has on me because 364 days of the year I really am fine, I know one day the peace will come! Sounds like you had a great Savannah's day! I talked to my husband about it and he liked the idea a lot!

  3. I think it was right for Josh's aunt to wish you a Happy Mother's Day... You have the biggest mother heart of anyone I know! Just look at you and your sweet nephews for goodness sake! Just saying!! How fun you get away each year. I may be planning that for next year!! :)