Recently, I had my feelings hurt and I've really struggled with it since. A few people have told me, I need to approach the other party and let them know. And I have, several times... in my head.
Me: I need to tell you that when you left me out of your shopping trip for baby blanket material, it really hurt my feelings. I spent all week planning on going. I put makeup on before my hair appointment (which I never do) and rushed thru that appointment and finished about 45 minutes early. Only to call and find out you had already left.
Them: Well, we invited you to lunch.
Me: I was an hour away! And the invite felt like a "crap, we forgot her, let's do lunch" invite. I was excited to go spend the day with you, but after being left behind, I wasn't willing to drive that hour "just to do lunch."
Them: Well, you are always so mean when there is a pregnancy.
Me: No, I was mean during the first one. It is you who has left me completely out of this one. I even had to learn it was a boy from an outside source. I know I was horrid thru the first one, but I feel like you haven't given me a chance since.
Them: Well, you never ask.
Me: I've never been pregnant before, I don't know what to ask. But you can at least tell me things like "It's a boy."
Me: Next time, just go on a day I'm working if I'm not really invited. Then it won't hurt so much. One of you made me think I would be included because it was my day off. (Thanks for thinking of me that person!) That is why I planned on going. I will admit, I struggled with it all week. It can be awkward to be the odd man out (aka, the only non-mom in a group). But as I put my makeup that morning, I realized, I was truly excited to go. So it really hurt my feelings to get left behind. Just because we can't have children doesn't mean we don't have feelings. Its been a long time since I was excited for something and I was really excited for that day.
Them: (Now in tears) Well, we just never know with you.
And because the tears have started, the conversation (in my head) always ends there and never comes to life.
I need to quit dwelling on this. Maybe I'm a coward and don't want to broach the issue. But I tell myself, I just don't want to hurt any feelings, so I keep it to myself. But it is eating me up inside. So maybe if I at least get it out on paper, it will help me move on and forget about it.
As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend. But then, instead o fleaving Him, in peace, to work alone; I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own. At last, I snatched them back and cried, "How can you be so slow?" "My child," He said, "What could I do? You never did let go." --Author Unknown
May 2007 - Start the MASS amounts of paperwork with LDSFS
December 2007 - Home study
January 2008 - APPROVED!
January 2009 - Go online with Parent Profiles
February 2009- Contacted by our 1st scammer
March 2009 - Parent Profiles Contact - she is looking because her sister is pregnant. (never heard back)
April 2009 - Submitted our paperwork on a possible situation (never heard back)
May 2009 - Contacted by another scammer
May 19, 2009 - Our CW called to ask if he could show our profile to a birth mom. Of course we said yes. Please pray for us and for her. *Update - we've never heard back from her...
July 2009 - Took a jump off the cliff and inquired about a sibling group in a neighboring state. They told us they would get ahold of us in about 30 days. At the end of the month I noticed they aren't on the website anymore, so they must have found a family.
August 2009 - Said no to a situation - we knew it wasn't our baby.
September 2009 - I'm getting more proactive, I called a hospital in Wyoming and asked if I could send our profile. They seemed excited. I would love if our baby came from Wyoming! Our profile has never even had a hit from Wyoming.
October 20, 2009 - First email from C
November 29, 2009 - First phone call with C. We going to go meet her!
December 4th, 2009 - We met C and her family. They are amazing. We arrived home that night to find an email saying she choose us!!!!
March 2 2010 - We were unchosen. Our hearts are broken.
June 2010 - Now what? We're not sure.
May 2011 - Officially closed our adoption profile with LDSFS. Enjoying life as a family of two.
My passions include Jesus, 6 awesome nephews, baking, scrapbooking, makeup, cupcakes, kittens, and reading.
I'm a payroll specialist by day, a Younique Makeup Presenter by night, and a follower of Jesus 24/7.