If they only knew

So hard for so many reasons. It just seems to surround me from every direction. I'm sure right now I must act like the most uncaring person, but why can't they see my pain? Why do they ignore me when this is the most painful thing I have ever gone through? I fear I will suffocate from all of it and they won't even notice I'm gone. They ignore my pain and in my anger, I push away from their happiness. They don't want me. My unhappiness is a burden to them.

And yet a ray of love from an unexpected direction. Of all the people to take notice of me right now, she was the last person I expected. Which just further proves, she really is an amazing person. I can't believe that while her own heart is breaking, she would think of me.

At least I have my husband. My friend. My protector. My everything. Without him by my side, I would be totally lost. He is the reason I live each day the best I can, even when my best is so little.

I thought after it all happened, it would start to get better.