Friday, April 9, 2010

The little things

My purse feel apart a few weeks ago. It had been hanging by a thread for quite some time. I loved this purse, Zipper loved to chew on this purse and that is the reason for its demise.

I can't bring myself to go buy another purse. A few months ago when I noticed its condition I decided I would tough it out until this summer. Then I would need a diaper bag and I could just carry my wallet in it.

I don't need a diaper bag anymore...

I am amazed at how the little things, like a purse, remind me that I'm not going to be a mom this summer.

We have talked about letting Ally have kittens this summer, but I didn't want to have kittens at the same time we had a baby. We think she is pregnant now and they can't come fast enough. I need a distraction and her belly isn't even growing yet.

I think about taking a day off of work and I won't because I was saving all my time for when the baby came.

I'm not even going to mention the baby shower invites.

I wish every little thing didn't remind me I'm not going to be a mom this summer.


  1. I know how you feel. Our ex-birthmom had her baby last weekend and she sent us an email. It was so painful to read. Every time I do something I think I could be holding my baby now. I'm so sorry Savannah. A failed placement is really hard. I wish we wouldn't be reminded by every little thing too.

  2. I don't know how you feel I just can't imagine. I jsut know of the pain of waiting for a child and the pain of infertility treatment failing me time and time again and looking at the ultrasound pic they give you to show you your potential baby eggs that they inserted inside you and just being agry that they didn't live. I am so truly sorry. I wish I can take away your pain. I know it must be hard. I just want to say I am so sorry. I hope your pain goes away soon and a miricle happens for you. :)

  3. I know how you feel; we have had several babies that could have been ours and three sisters that were almost ours. I'm so sorry. There isn't anything anyone can tell you to make it hurt a little less. I'm just glad to see that Jill Elizabeth has listed you on her blog, The Happiest Sad.

    You will be in my prayers!

  4. Just wanted to say hi! :) You are in my thoughts!

  5. I have been trying to find a few adoption blogs lately, since I have joined that world not too long ago. I also have infertility issues and cannot have children. So my husband and I are adopting. I have started a blog about our progress through adoption and the ups and downs of it, sort of like my journal I guess. I can relate to what your are going through! If you dont mind, I will add your blog to my list of blogs I read every day!

  6. Hey everyone!
    Feel free to check out my blog.. It's not the best, It's just a start so far..
    Hopefully we all can be encouraged by it!