Thursday, August 6, 2009

Life lessons from infertility

Something happened this week that kind of upset me. It wasn't adoption related but within minutes I was comparing this experience to my infertility trying to figure out how I need to accept what was happening.

When we were still trying to get pregnant, each month was a blow to my heart. My period would be late, so I would get excited and take a pregnancy test. But they were always negative. I reached the point where I thought the only way I could be happy was to become pregnant. I thought if that never happened, then my life would be worthless. I LIVED TO SEE THOSE TWO LITTLE PINK LINES.

But then we started to think adoption, and I knew that I could be happy again. I didn't have to get pregnant to be a mother. I can still have little children running up and down the hallway of our home.

So when my heart was troubled earlier this week I realized that even though we thought things would happen a certain way and now they won't, it's okay. God has something else in mind and when we finally realize what His plans are, we will be happy with how things turned out.

I received this email, well who knows when. I've been holding on to it for quite a while and thought I would post it here. Maybe to some it makes no sense to relate it to infertility, but it sums up how I feel today.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go
Some people become friends and stay a while
leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts
and we are never quite the same
because we have made a good friend.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to us in all other relationships, and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing that you are a Child of God.
Let His presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing,
dance and to bask in the sun.
It is there for each and every one of you.


  1. Yeah! A post to read! :) Thanks for posting! My classes are done now for the summer, meaning I have one week off and then start back up....

    I think I understand where you are coming from. I often jump back to infertility and think about how it relates to various trials, or experiences people share. The email that you received had me thinking about various experiences I had while going through infertility treatments and the birth and death of our son.

    Sometimes I feel like no one else really understands what I'm feeling, or can see it the way I do, or hurt the way I hurt. But, sometimes I can just read an email and say "hmm, that was good."

    I think I'm more of a skeptic now. I don't take anything at face value. I guess I do it so I won't get hurt as often.

    Those are just some random thoughts.... Thanks for the post! :)

  2. I'm sorry you're struggling this week. I appreciated the email you shared though. My favorite line was "May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be." I am struggling with that a lot lately, but I guess I need to find some peace. Love ya!

  3. Sorry this week was one of those weeks. We all have them in the infertility world. It stinks. The waiting can be exausting and then we tend to look at why couldn't I just become pregnant so I didn't have to be in pain just waiting for that baby to come. I understand and I am sorry this is one of those weeks. We all have them. Keep your head up and hang in there. Finding peace with infertility is hard. I know I am not over it I just learn to deal with it and some days are harder then others.