It is National Infertility Week and RESOLVE has challenged bloggers to blog about an infertility myth. The goal behind this challenge is to help bring infertility bloggers together and to also help others learn about infertility.
I have faced many of those myths head on over the years.
"You're still young."
"Just try again."
Each of those statements (along with countless others) don't actually help someone with infertility. You can't just relax and suddenly your pregnant. You can't just adopt, its not like going to the store.
But right now the myth I struggle with the most is when people imply that we are not a family if we don't have kids.
Ten years ago, on February 9, 2001, my husband and I were married for time & eternity in the Jordan River Temple. When we went there that morning, we were just two people with no lasting connection. But after that, we were husband and wife. We were officially a family. A family starts the second you are declared man and wife. It doesn't wait to start until you are pregnant. It doesn't wait and start when you hear the first heartbeat. It doesn't wait and start when your first child is born. Josh and I have been a family for 10 years. Not having children doesn't make us less of a family. We are just as much a family as anyone else, whether they have one child or twelve.
Which leads to another myth, our lives aren't complete and happy, unless we become parents.
We've always been happy, even during our struggles. But this last year has been one of the best years of our marriage. Our lives are complete. Our lives do have meaning. We aren't empty shells because we don't have children. We still enjoy things. We still have a life.
My new favorite scripture is 2 Nephi 2:25. "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."
It doesn't say, men have children so they can have joy. Just simply, "men are they they might have joy."
Its okay if we choose to be happy while living a childfree life. That doesn't make us selfish. We are not forced to sit home in tears that we aren't parents. We are allowed to find new meaning in life. To experience other things.
I don't like it when people imply I have "yet" to start my family. Josh is my family. I also don't appreciate when people act like we are missing out on the world. We have a very rich and full life. I have nothing to complain about. Josh makes me happy. He completes me. If he is the only member of my family, that is okay. I find joy in that.
To learn more about RESOLVE visit HERE. To learn more about National Inferility Awareness Week visit HERE.
As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God, because He was my friend. But then, instead o fleaving Him, in peace, to work alone; I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own. At last, I snatched them back and cried, "How can you be so slow?" "My child," He said, "What could I do? You never did let go." --Author Unknown
May 2007 - Start the MASS amounts of paperwork with LDSFS
December 2007 - Home study
January 2008 - APPROVED!
January 2009 - Go online with Parent Profiles
February 2009- Contacted by our 1st scammer
March 2009 - Parent Profiles Contact - she is looking because her sister is pregnant. (never heard back)
April 2009 - Submitted our paperwork on a possible situation (never heard back)
May 2009 - Contacted by another scammer
May 19, 2009 - Our CW called to ask if he could show our profile to a birth mom. Of course we said yes. Please pray for us and for her. *Update - we've never heard back from her...
July 2009 - Took a jump off the cliff and inquired about a sibling group in a neighboring state. They told us they would get ahold of us in about 30 days. At the end of the month I noticed they aren't on the website anymore, so they must have found a family.
August 2009 - Said no to a situation - we knew it wasn't our baby.
September 2009 - I'm getting more proactive, I called a hospital in Wyoming and asked if I could send our profile. They seemed excited. I would love if our baby came from Wyoming! Our profile has never even had a hit from Wyoming.
October 20, 2009 - First email from C
November 29, 2009 - First phone call with C. We going to go meet her!
December 4th, 2009 - We met C and her family. They are amazing. We arrived home that night to find an email saying she choose us!!!!
March 2 2010 - We were unchosen. Our hearts are broken.
June 2010 - Now what? We're not sure.
May 2011 - Officially closed our adoption profile with LDSFS. Enjoying life as a family of two.
My passions include Jesus, 5 awesome nephews, baking, scrapbooking, makeup, cupcakes, kittens, and reading.
I'm a payroll specialist by day, a Younique Makeup Presenter by night, and a follower of Jesus 24/7.