Tuesday, May 17, 2016

My Uterus

I've grown some pretty tough skin the last few years. I try to politely point out that we: 1) have no children and 2) can't have children. And if they push the issue, 3) because we have no sperm and 4) yes, we tried the adoption route.

But I had a new one hit me in the gut today. Recently, I've started to wonder if I am starting to get premenopausal. Getting my doctor to agree has been another issue. But when I told him my night sweats are unbearable and I am no longer sleeping at night, he finally agreed to do some testing.

One of those including an ultrasound....

I tried to keep the humor today. My husband works at the hospital, in their construction department. When I arrived for my appointment today, his crew saw me go into the Woman's Center. As I walked by them, I said, "don't worry, I'm not pregnant."

The nurse asked how many kids I have, and I said none. Again, I was okay.

But then, out of the blue, I learned a fun new fact about my body.

My uterus is tilted.

I tried to keep a smile on my face, but I guess it was bad enough that the tech couldn't get a clear shot, so she went and got another tech to assist her. Again, I had to go through the "no, I've never had a baby before" routine, but it was harder that time. It was like she was surprised I didn't know my uterus was tilted.

Well, what do you expect? This is the first time I've seen my uterus on the screen!

Okay, I didn't really say that, but I thought it.

After that, there wasn't anything to do but stare at the screen of my uterus of nothingness. Because she was right in her assumptions. What 30+ old woman doesn't know that about her own body? It was just sad to stare at the screen and realize I'll never see a baby grow inside my belly.

I also had to do blood work to check my thyroid and other hormonal levels. I won't get the results back until next week. I've actually had my symptoms reduce a bit (I bought a lighter set of bed sheets), but I still know that my hormones are out of whack and I'm hoping the doctor will find something.

Its times like these that I find great strength in Jesus. I've had many moments where He has spoken to my heart and I know that everything is in His hands and going exactly according to His plans. When it starts to get hard, I give my pain to Him and let Him take care of it for me.


  1. I'm so sorry that you are going through this! It's pretty darn miserable, from the sound of it. Fingers crossed for answers from these tests!

    I will never understand why doctors push back against ordering diagnostic tests. I mean, you're the one paying for them, and everything you asked for is non-invasive. And what's the worst thing that could happen? My doctor gave me intense pushback in January for some reason too.

    I'm sorry about having to repeat that you've never had kids. I really think that some of that line of questioning could be eliminated if the medical staff bothered to read your records.

    I'm glad that you have your faith to lean on during this confusing time.

  2. I also have a tilted uterus. It's very common - in, I think, about 25% of women. I didn't learn that until my late 30s.

    I find ultrasound scans quite hard too. My only experiences of them have been to receive bad news.

    I hope you can get some relief from your symptoms. I love being on HRT. It has made life so much more pleasant.

  3. I have had some night sweats too...can't decide if it is my body...or I just need to try different sheets. I am a really deep sleeper though.

  4. I'm glad that you have your faith to lean on during this confusing time.